Sat, 16 Jun 2007 16:12:00 LMN TELLS ALL ABOUT THE KFC CLUB Hooded lady arriving at The Punt headquaters. |
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Following a phone call to our offices at The Punt headquarters in Puntingham, we were met by a hooded lady who wished to keep her identity a secret, so we shall refer to the lady as LittleMissNobody, our roving reporter was used to dealling with hard hitting stories, but this one really shook me to the very core of my bicycle clips. around my ankles.
Kyle Hasmenkink
For some time there has been a secret number where gentlemen and some ladies, could phone and arrange to meet a lady for female company, this has become a myth that has grown out of all proportion, so when Littlemissnobody contacted my number, I was on my bicycle to meet her as quickly as I could, she hid in the shadows with a hat pulled down covering her face, and a coat with the collar up to protect her identity, though I could tell her shoes were a size eight and a half, by the glass slipper she left behind when as the clock was about to strike 12 she dissapeared,......Littlemissnobody started telling me about how she was adopted by a wicked step mother and there were 2 ugly sisters in the family, who made her do all the chores and virtually confined her to the kitchen so their boyfriends would not meet this beautiful lady, then one magical moment happened, and her tatty dressturned into a beautiful pair of combat pants and smart silky top, and the scrap of paper on the floor turned into a tram return ticket to Puntingham town centre, Littlemissnobody knew that this could be her wayout of povertyand neglect, so she headed to the bright lights of the town centre, where she was approached by a lady who offered her employment as a courtesan where she would be company for gentlemen of a high class nature who were a little lonely.
Soon her name became known for all her good work, and gentlemen would ask specifically for Littlemissnobody, she soon learned that she could earn extra by allowing gentlemen to kiss and cuddle her, this was soon caught on by other ladies, who became known as the KFC club, the Kissing Fan Club, and soon word spread throughout the town of how the ladies would be allowed to be kissed on the cheek, and gentlemen were able to cuddle the ladies above the waist.
Of course as time went on, Littlemissnobody soon became too popular, and other ladies tried to expose her, and word hit the streets exposing her to others who frowed upon her profession, so much so, Littlemissnobody has now turned the corner and has found gainfull employment, but her real identity we have agreed to keep quiet, so I trundled back to the office with the exclusive story and the glass slipper she left behind.
When Littlemissnobody quickly left leaving the glass slipper behind, I noticed some red cinders on the heel, so im going to trawl the streets of Puntingham looking for the Cinders I know, and I will check all the ladies till I find the lady with the size eight and a half foot to fit the glass slipper with Cinders.
I find this story very much shocking that such mucky behaviour goes on in Puntingham, and that in a world of fairy tales where we want to live, the hard facts are there, and hope we can all live happily ever after.
Kyle Hesmankink.
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